Clinka Forever?
by SizzlR
Summary: Clyde has a problem; he's in love with his best friend. The question is... does SHE feel the same way? Art by BluFlameStudio
1. Chapter 1

**SizzlR here, and I have a story that's been in my head for a while. I know I say that about every story, but this one is different, hear me out. I got this idea from Deviantart, and it was so good I couldn't resist. Unfortunately I saw there was a very similar story on the website by Autistic Writer, so I'm gonna be taking some queues from his work. So I guess this is a joint thing by me and someone I've never talked to, Ha!**

 **Anyways, some notes before reading:**

 **Everyone except Clyde and a few other exceptions are genderbent. I'm doing this for the sole purpose of making it interesting for myself.**

 **Ronaldo (genderbent Ronnie Anne) will play a bigger role in the story than his cameo in this chapter.**

 **The story takes place through the spring of fifth grade, from early March to late May/early June.**

 **Enjoy!**

It was Friday afternoon in Royal Woods, Michigan. School had just let out minutes ago, and both kids and adults had already taken to the streets to enjoy a much needed vacation. Learning took a toll on EVERYONE; you could only get a reprieve from the dreaded task every once in a while, and when you DID get it, most everyone enjoys it.

Everyone… except for one boy. He was too busy stewing as he walked to the corner of Elm Street and Tubber Avenue, only two blocks from his house. And as Clyde McBride stormed to the crosswalk, he thought one singular thought to himself, over and over and over again:

He was NOT a pansy.

So what if he didn't play sports like any of the other boys in his grade? Sports were overrated, anyways. All you really did was toss a ball around a field or a court or whatever… not much fun in THAT. And who cared if his hobbies were different? A boy was allowed to knit from time to time, wasn't he? And it CERTAINLY wasn't too weird to cook, was it? Most anyone could make a pan seared chicken parmesan with chives and honey mustard glaze if they tried!

No, if Clyde McBride was anything, he was NO pansy. He was a MAN! He took that fact in stride!

And looking back, he kinda HAD to. Clyde had never really had a true manly influence around him. There was always the parental issue to worry about… and he always tended to hang around girls more than he did boys. It had been that way since he was a kid, and he saw no reason to change that.

...At least, up until now. Spring of fifth grade. His choice of acquaintances had NEVER been attacked before… but today was different. He had been with his friend Penelope near the jungle gym, both of them reading; Physical activity really wasn't their thing.

A boy had walked up to them from behind (without them noticing, of course,) and got their attention, his tone indicating he was NOT in the mood for messing around.

"Hey, guys, beat it. I want to go down the slide."

Penelope had looked up, not really noticing him until a few seconds later.

"What?"

"Uhh… get up. I want to use the slide."

She squinted her eyes at him, a scowl setting across her face.

"What's the magic word?"

"Magic...word?" the boy asked, looking confused. "What… you know what, I don't care. Move."

"Hmph! Not with THAT attitude…" Clyde scoffed from behind his book, making the kid grimace at him.

"Fine! I'd move you BOTH out of the way, but lucky for you Mr. Johnson is watching!"

"Ok," Penelope said, not even bothering to look up. "Have fun."

If the boy had looked mad before, he was pure ANGRY now. He ripped off the purple hoodie that had been wrapped around his torso and gripped it, making sure not to do anything he'd get in trouble for.

"I didn't even WANT to use it!" he spat, beginning to storm away. "Use it sometime, you pansies! Get some REAL friends, McBride!"

Clyde hadn't really looked up until then, but he had heard enough. The word lingered in his head for the rest of the day… from science, to english, to the bell… all the way to his street corner, which he had reached in record time.

Pansy… not him! He had real friends! Penelope! Agatha! Jaime, Doris, Ashley… umm… who else? Pam? No, no, a GUY… someone he could-

"Clyde!"

He turned his head in the direction of the school, where the noise had come from. There, running up to him, was his best friend. Every insecurity Clyde had had was replaced, thankfully with much better feelings.

"Hey!" he said as his friend reached him, white hair flailing. "Where were you?"

"Had to make up a test… didn't slow you down, did I?"

"Not at all!" he said as they began to walk down Elm towards Franklin. "I was going slow anyway. Had a lot to think about…"

His friend stopped and looked at him, concerned.

"Like what?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just something that happened at recess. No big deal."

"Well, it's OBVIOUSLY a big deal if you're slowing down to think about it! Tell me!"

He sighed. There was no use in fighting - his friends ALWAYS got what they wanted out of him eventually. Maybe he WAS sort of a pushover…

"It's just… -sigh- Someone called me a pansy today and I've been thinking since then."

"Hmm… why'd he call you that?"

"That's the thing! I don't know!" he griped, throwing his hands out. "I was reading with Penelope and he said to get 'real friends,' whatever THAT means…"

"Well… I'M your real friend… aren't I?"

He stopped, sighing as he turned to his best friend.

"I think he meant friends that are GUYS, Linka…"

"Oh…" she said, a look of disappointment on her face. It was quickly replaced with a smile, however, as she ran up to him.

"Well, don't worry about him! He's just jealous of you!"

Even though it was obvious she was pandering to him, he still gave a small grin.

"Thanks, Link. You're a real friend."

Clyde and Linka had known each other for so long, it was almost impossible to pinpoint dates anymore. They had met in preschool, they had agreed on that… they both seemed to remember snack time and the giant slide in the back of the building. There wasn't really anything too special about it; just two kids eating lunch and playing at recess together… and who conveniently lived only 4 houses away from each other.

They had sat next to each other in homeroom since first grade; their last names were close together. They talked, ate, read… anything you could imagine a little kid doing with a friend, that was them. And no, Clyde didn't think it was weird his best friend was… well, a girl, but growing up DID mean that he was taunted about it; almost every day in the most recent school year.

Before either of them knew it, they had reached the McBride household. Linka and Clyde stopped at the curb to say their farewells.

"I'll talk to you tonight, alright?"

"Yeah! I'll keep my walkie talkie with me!"

They commenced with their patented signature handshake: two hits to the left, then the right, up, down, diagonal, thumbs together, and BAM! Punch to the shoulder to finish it off!

They laughed as fist connected to shoulder, Clyde's punch softer than hers; even though she BEGGED him to go hard at her, he had to hold back… for her sake, of course.

She waved goodbye, and with a quick turn of her heel, was off in a minute. Clyde watched her until she got to her house; it was important to watch for anyone suspicious out there… you never could tell. His parents had warned him about the town being more dangerous than usual, but he really didn't see it. But, if it meant Linka wasn't safe...

He turned to his door and walked up the sideway, where he opened the door and walked inside.

"Hey, mom! Hey, mom!"

At once, a slender, red headed woman peered her head out of the kitchen, her eyes widening in excitement.

"Oooh, Clyde! You're home!"

"Yeah, mom, I made it… again…" he grumbled as his mother ran to hug him. He playfully rolled his eyes; while his mom's DID tend to smother him, being the center of attention was always nice.

"I missed you so MUCH!" she cried, hugging him. "You were supposed to be back 3 minutes ago!"

"I know, Mom. I was waiting for Linka, it's ok…" He said as she let go of him.

"Well, at least you're home safe. Your mom is downstairs doing god knows what… dinner will be ready soon, so go do your homework."

He complied, getting his backpack and going to his room. It was nice and neat: just the way a room should be. A picture of him and Linka stood on his nightstand, showing their first day of second grade. Ahhh, memories...

He flopped onto his bed and had JUST opened his math book to page 206 when his walkie talkie went off.

"Clyde! This is Linka, over!"

He immediately forgot about the math and grabbed it, speaking rapid fire.

"I read you, Linka! I am safe at home, over! Mom's know I'm here, over!"

"Well, that's good, over! I arrived home and I'm currently doing homework, over."

"Same, over. And why do we keep saying over, over?"

"I don't know…" she said, before laughing. "I guess it's just traditional."

"Yeah, I guess so…" He said, laying on his bed again. "So how was your day?"

"Oh, it was good! I got most of my work done already, but there's still a lot of math…"

"-Ugh- Tell me about it," Clyde said, rolling his eyes. "It's not like Mr Johnson gives us enough already! I mean, he isn't even that good at math!"

"I know, right? I bet he can't even do what he's teaching us!"

They both laughed as Clyde's mom peered into his room.

"Clyde, do your homework!"

"Oh, alright!" He said as he pressed the button down again.

"I have to go, Link. I'll talk later, okay?"

"Yeah, sure! I'll talk to you toni-"

"HEY, GUYS! LINKA'S TALKING TO HER BOYFRIEND!"

Clyde could hear the audible groan Linka gave at her brothers words. He joined in, knowing what would happen when he hung up.

"They heard us, didn't they?"

"Yep. They'll be here in 3...2...1…"

The bang of the door was the last thing Clyde heard before the walkie talkie went static. He sighed, throwing it to the side.

Why did everyone seem convinced that they were dating? Linka had told him that she was asked at least 5 times a day whether they had kissed or not… no! Fifth grade isn't a time for kissing! They were friends! Nothing else!

Well…

Clyde laid back on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Homework or not, he needed to think. Sure, Linka was his friend, but… did it HAVE to be limited to that? It was nice being her friend, but… what if?

It was a few months ago that he started to feel that way. They had gone to Flips together to apply for an internship. They both managed to get the old man to work for them, not without almost killing each other… it was when they were fighting to get into the bathroom first. That was when.

As much as he hated to admit it… Clyde cared about Linka. Not just as a friend, either.

It wasn't wrong to want to date her, was it?

Of course, they were only in fifth grade… most HIGH SCHOOL relationships end early. And Linka had told him many, MANY times before how annoying it was to see a couple their age holding hands. Her words swam through his mind rapid fire…

"That's weird! They should really wait until they're older!"

"Why are they DOING that? Gross!"

"It's a good thing WE aren't like that, Clyde!"

Yep, that was an actual quote. Depressing, he knew… he'd been displaced to the friendzoned without even trying to leave in the first place.

Clyde would usually come home and do exactly what he was doing; lay on his bed and think of the what if scenarios… his mom's told him he should get outside more, but you couldn't think we'll when birds were chirping and the sun was shining directly in your eyes. Clyde and Linka, Linka and Clyde… best friends forever…

Best friends… FOREVER?


	2. Chapter 2

Ronaldo Santiago woke up at 3:30 AM… again.

Typical. Every night for the past week he'd been waking up earlier, and now? What gave, Father Time? Can't a kid sleep?

He hopped out of bed, still grumbling about his bad luck. At this rate he might as well just wake up Bebe and his mother… then again, he really didn't feel like dying anytime soon…

He needed to piss. BAD. He walked out the door, making sure not to step on any creaky floorboards. Bebe and Mom were usually deep sleepers, but you never know… for all he knew they were waiting in the bathroom for him…

On second thought, that was creepy. Moving on!

At last, he reached the bathroom, and swinging open the door, he walked in and turned on the light. The small room lit up in contrast to the dark outside.

As Ronaldo relieved himself, he was able to glance into the mirror hanging over the sink. His hair was in knots again… he REALLY needed to have Bebe cut it. It was usually neater than what it was, but when it was earlier in the morning, watch out! His dark skin contrasted with the purple nightshirt he wore, which, for your information, was NOT girly in the slightest. Guys could like purple stuff too, you know. PINK, however, was a different ballgame…

He noticed a zit on his chin, and pulling up his flannel pajama pants, walked to the mirror. He focused in on the unsightly blemish as he thought back to the day before… a nice day, nothing special, but what REALLY got him going was that STUPID McBride kid and his friend. GAH!

That damn Clyde McBride! He was the ultimate pansy, the KING of pansies! The dude didn't have a male friend to his name! Well, if you could consider Penelope a guy, which she probably was…

Look, Ronaldo had a dirty mind, alright? Not his fault: He hadn't exactly grown up in a prestigious situation. He had been held back in Kindergarten back when his family was living in Texas, and they had only recently moved up to this place to be close to family. His dad was nonexistent in his life, and to be honest, it kind of sucked. Yeah, being the guy in the family was cool and all… but hard work at the same time.

But anyway, focus… this zit wasn't gonna pop itself. His mind wandered yet again however, back to the playground incident… stupid Clyde…

Frankly, Ronaldo had NOTHING against Clyde. He was a nice enough kid and all… it's just that he was kind of a loser. Nothing wrong with that, he guessed… except, when you surround yourself with girls, you're liable to be called one. He didn't seem to be able to understand that.

But as he finally got rid of the zit and walked into the kitchen to grab a drink, he thought more. Maybe… he was kind of JEALOUS of the kid. He was pretty much a girl and all, but to be hanging with ALL of those girls? If that kid was straight (which, knowing his parents, he probably wasn't,) That was INCREDIBLE! Lucky duck!

Yeah, really lucky… especially with that one friend of his, Linka Loud…

Oh, God, not this again…

Ronaldo was at that age where guys, well, start to become interested in girls, and their, uhh, what is it… you know, he wasn't a science geek, he didn't know. What he DID know was that Linka was the only girl in his grade who he found even remotely attractive. She was pretty… not just pretty, GORGEOUS. Everything from her snow white hair, to her cute smile, the way she'd crinkle her nose at-

"What are you doing?"

He looked up. Bebe was standing in the door, rubbing her eyes.

"Oh, uh, hey, sis!" he stuttered, trying not to look like he was in the middle of pining. "I was just getting a drink, that's all…"

He walked to the counter and grabbed a glass, filling it with tap water.

"How much noise do you have to make to get water, Ron?"

"Hey, sis, it ain't easy, believe me. I would know, I'm the best at getting it."

"Ok, Donald, you can stop now," she rolled her eyes as she looked down at her phone. "You should be happy Loki was texting me, or else I'd beat you right now…"

"Oh, that isn't true... you love me too much."

"Not enough to save your ass, I don't… why are you up?"

He sighed, taking a sip from his glass.

"Can't sleep… again. It's probably just nerves or something. No biggie."

"-pffft- Yeah, right. You usually sleep 'til ten on a bad day. What gives?"

"It's nothing," he shot back. "I'm fine."

"Uhh, no, you aren't. I'm your sister, I know this stuff."

He sighed, putting down his glass.

"I… I don't want to talk about it right now. It's kind of a personal thing."

"It's a girl, isn't it?"

Ronaldo stared at his sister as if she had just killed Santa Claus.

"How did you know?!"

"Like I said. I'm your sister; I know everything. Now spill your guts, Ron."

"Uhhh, I'll take 'Hell No' for 400, Alex," he said sarcastically, brushing past her.

"Oh, come on, Ron! You want help, don't you?" Bebe said as she trailed her younger brother to his room. He turned as he got to the door, a look of seriousness written all over his face.

"Bebe, it's 3 A.M. Who gives advice at 3 A.M?"

"Uhh, me, that's who. Now-"

"Look," he said, his eyes moving to see if he could find his mother snooping. "I'll let you help me if we can talk tommorow, alright?"

Bebe's eyes lit up as she nodded yes.

"Alright then. Good night!"

With that, he closed the door and hopped onto his bed, covering himself with blankets. Sisters…

 **Next Morning...**

Clyde and Linka walked down the street together, talking to each other as they went.

"So… how did your family take the news?"

"Well, they were surprised at first… but they support it 100 percent! We can date!"

"YES!" he cried out, fist pumping the air. "Ever since we've decided to go out, Linka, I've been happier than ever!"

"I love you, Clyde! Kiss me!"

She puckered her lips, and Clyde naturally fell into them as a smooth jazz tune began to drift over the tw-

 **BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!**

Oh, boy… not again.

Clyde groggily opened his eyes, trying to hit the button to turn his alarm clock off. Why his parents set it for so early in the morning, he didn't know, but it sure was annoying to turn off. He finally found it, and pressing down, slowly began to fall back-

"CLYDE! TIME TO GET READY!"

Uggggh… it felt like the millionth morning in a row and it was only Wenesday. Not only that, he had it again… the dream…

It wasn't TOO bad to have… weird, maybe, but not BAD. All he knew was that for the past two weeks he had dreamt the same thing over and over, the same exact pattern; they'd walk down the street, Clyde would ask how her family took it, and then they'd kiss after she said the good news. Truth be told? It was NICE having it happen every night.

It was almost as if she WANTED to date him…

"No, no, no. You're getting ahead of yourself, Clyde. Control yourself!"

Clyde reassured himself more as he got out of bed and walked into the kitchen. His mother's were already at the table, each reading a newspaper.

"-yawn- Hey, mom. Hey, mom."

"Morning, hun!" the red haired mother said, putting her paper down. "how did you sleep?"

"Good, I guess… I'm still tired."

"Of course you are, you just woke up!" his other mom said, a larger dark skinned woman. "Go drink some juice!"

Good idea, mom. Mom's always had the best ideas.

He grabbed a glass and opened the fridge, thinking of his dream the entire time. It HAD to be a sign, didn't it? It couldn't just be a coincidence that he was having the same dream over and over again, right? There had to be a catch, but what?

Maybe he should talk to someone about it… but NOT Linka. No, definitely not. She would probably either freak out, disown him, or both. She was his best friend and all, but still, some things are best off being-

"CLYDE!"

He was startled out of his trance, looking down to see the puddle of orange juice he'd made. He had gone and poured juice over the edge of his glass… again. Believe it or not, this whole thing was a recurring theme.

"This is the third time this week you've spilled the juice, Clyde!" his mom said, walking over with a towel. "What gives?"

"N-nothing! Just, uh, butterfingers I guess! Heh…"

Both his mother's looked at him suspiciously, before one spoke up.

"Clyde, honey, if there's something wrong, you can tell us. We won't be mad at you."

"Uhh…" He chuckled nervously as he backed away from the fridge. "Nothing's wrong! Don't be ridiculous! I'm completely-"

He tripped over his feet and landed in a heap beside the dining room table. His mom's ran up to him and helped him get to his feet.

"Clyde, we know something's the matter. Tell us."

"Mom! Nothings wrong!" he said, getting up in a hurry. "I'm fine!"

The two ladies shared glances before turning back to him.

"Alright, we believe you. Just… tell us if there's a problem, alright?"

"I will," he said as he got a towel. "I promise."

The rest of the morning routine went smoothly, and Clyde went to his front step to wait for Linka. Linka… sweet, sweet Linka…

Clyde! What WAS that back there?! You could have told your mom's everything! They could've helped!

True, true… Clyde agreed on that one a hundred percent. It wasn't that easy, though… you NEVER involve parents in relationships. He'd seen enough cheesy Hallmark movies to know that. And to be honest, he kind of wanted to do it himself…

How much DID Clyde care for Linka? It was a question he asked himself every so often, and he had safely drawn a conclusion that made the most sense. It had taken him all of three days, but he had SCIENTIFICALLY proven that he was willing to jump into a herd of Great White Sharks with a meat vest for her. And plus, the presentation had a graph! How cool was that?!

But, sadly, he'd probably never get to present that to her… or anyone else. Linka had solemnly vowed to never date. Or at least it SEEMED like that. She'd never really shown an interest in guys up till that point in time. At the rate it was going, he'd probably have to grovel at her feet to even get an ice cream date with her… the thought of him on his knees begging for a date made him chuckle.

He was desperate, but not THAT desperate… or, was he?

It reminded Clyde of that song his mom would always sing to him when he was a kid… it was by some old Scottish band with a name he never could remember. Something to do with walking thousands of miles to show your love or something... Honestly, he saw himself in that position. If he had to walk a hundred, a thousand, heck, A MILLION miles for Linka, he'd do it in a heartbeat. BAREFOOT, even!

...actually, NOT barefoot. Calluses, you know?

A familiar voice called his name, and Clyde looked up. There she was… waving to him with her happy smile. Her smile was his favorite thing about her… how it was so NATURAL, you kno-

"Clyde?"

"AHHHHHHH!" HE yelped, jumping in the air. She was a LOT closer than he thought she was to him.

"Uhhh… are we going or what?"

"Yeah, yeah, hold on…" he said, dusting himself off. "You scared me, that's all."

"Really? But… you were watching me the whole time I walked up here…"

"I was? Oh, yeah, I was! Just, you know, playing along! Heh!"

She looked confused for a split second… then smiled.

"Heh! That's a good one, Clyde… Now come on! Mr. Johnson is gonna mark us late!"


	3. Chapter 3

" _Eight six seven five three o nine,  
Eight six seven five three o nine,  
Jenny Jenny you're the girl for me,  
You don't know me but you make me so happy,  
I tried to call you before but I lost my nerve,  
I tried my imagination but I was disturbed…"_

 _-Tommy Tutone, "867-5309"_

The Loud House was ALWAYS wild, there was no doubt about it. Having ten boys and all, you'd almost expect it to always be that way... but, for some reason, it wasn't this peaceful Saturday afternoon. And Linka Loud was INCREDIBLY thankful for that.

Linka didn't hate her brothers, that's for sure, but GEEZ, they could be a handful! Especially the twins, Lexx and Leif, and Luke the punk rocker, AND Loki AND Levi AND… you know, you get the idea. It was tough.

But, when the chance comes, you take it. And Linka was making the most of this time she had by doing what she loved the most; reading comics in her pajamas. On a GREAT day, she'd be rid of those, but unfortunately with ten boys that was almost impossible. Oh, well. It's the thought that counts.

This issue of Glob Gal was ESPECIALLY interesting; The evil Dr. Destructo was threatening to destroy the entire city of Pittsburgh, and only the heroic GLOB GAL could stop him! Only two pages were left, and boy, was it a cliffhanger! Nobody was backing down as she flipped the page to-

"LINKA!"

Oh, boy… that was Lexx. He probably wanted her to play maid or something… sorry, kid. Glob Gal doesn't wait for ANYONE.

She began to read, the action spilling into the panels. Destructo and Gal traded blows as-

"LIIIIIIIIINKAAAAAAAAAAA!"

-sigh- Well, maybe there could be an exception made this time.

Linka stumbled out of bed, throwing off her pajamas as she did. She began to get dressed for the day in her usual garb; orange blouse, blue skirt, orange hair clip. Orange was her favorite color; it was the only word in the English language that didn't rhyme with anything. In a way, it was unique… like her.

She walked out of her room and was almost immediately decapitated by a flying basketball.

"UGH! Lynn!"

"What? I have to practice somehow!" Lynn said, poking his head out from the staircase.

"LIIIIIIIIINKAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Great… the more screaming there was, there was more headache. Not an uncommon conundrum in her house, but an annoying one.

"Coming!" She yelled as she ran down the stairs, where Lars was sitting despondently.

"Linka."

"Huh?"

"What rhymes with 'Depression?'"

"Hmmm… confession?"

"hmmm… of course," he said as he slapped his forehead. Linka brushed past him towards the sound of Lexx.

He was standing by the door, holding the phone in his ear. He immediately put it to the side as he looked at his sister with a mischievous smile.

"Someone wants to talk to you."

Hm? Someone wanted to… TALK to her?

"Who?"

"I don't know… He didn't say. He wants you, though."

"Oh," she said dumbly. He? What would anyone want with her?

She grabbed the phone and held it up to her ear, trying to sound as confident as possible.

"Hello?"

What sounded like breathing came through for a few seconds, until a unusually high pitched voice spoke.

"H-h-hi…"

"Uhh… hi? Who is this?"

"Umm… that's, uhhh… I'd rather not say. I-it's a long story."

"Ok? Did you want to talk to me about something?"

"Uhh…" The voice stuttered. It was obviously a guy, from the sound of it… and judging by the pitch, he had to be around her age.

"Hello?"

"I'M STILL HERE!" He shouted urgently. "Uhh… I just wanted to, uhh, tell you, that, uhh…"

"Tell me what?"

A deep breath came through, and a sudden rapid fire ramble shot into her ear from the phone.

"IJUSTHAVETOTELLYOUITHINKYOUREREALLYCUTEANDID LIKETOKNOWYOUBETTEROKBYE!"

The phone went dead. Whoever it was, they REALLY didn't want to say what they did… at least, that's what it sounded like.

She didn't catch all of it; something about him thinking…

She was cute?

What?

"Who was that, Linka?"

She turned to see Loki sitting on the steps, texting behind her. Lars was missing; probably back in the vents again.

"I…" she said, trying to find words. "...don't know."

"Uhh… your face is red, Link. Are you alright?"

She reached up and felt her face; it was burning red. Was she… embarrassed?

"I'm fine… just kind of confused…"

"Hm. Weird. I heard whoever shouting, didn't know if you did anything. What was the number?"

"Uhh…" she said, looking at the phone screen. "867-5309…"

Loki looked up from his phone, his eyebrow raised.

"Seriously? Are you sure?"

"Yeah? It says right there, why?"

"That's… that's Bebe's home phone number. Are you sure you don't know who that was?"

"I'm sure…" she mumbled, putting the phone down. At this point, she really just wanted to go back to bed.

"Well… I'll text her. See if someone called."

"Ok… thanks…" she said, turning and running up the stairs. She closed her door behind her and jumped on her bed. That phone call was… weird, to say the least. Who WAS that? And WHY was he so nervous?

It didn't make sense… what would Bebe's house want with her?

Unless...

Didn't she have a brother in her grade? What was his name, Roberto? That kid that Clyde always complained about to her after school?

Maybe? For all she knew, it was someone else from a whole different state. Yeah, that's it… someone who was looking for a Linka at the same phone number to tell her she was…

Cute.

Did… did someone LIKE her?

It wasn't impossible, she supposed. Guys in her grade were always trying to get a girlfriend and stuff like that. She didn't take that stuff seriously, though… those type of things usually only lasted for a few days before the inevitable break up. No one took anything like that seriously at that age. And why would they? The way she saw it, relationships were stupid. She and Clyde agreed on that, but everyone else? No way.

She sighed, laying down. While it DID make her uncomfortable in a way, it also kind of made her feel… special.

A smile curled from the corner of her lips. So THAT'S what it's like to find a guy who likes you...

Wow, she was flustered.

And she liked it.

 **Meanwhile…**

Ronaldo slammed the phone down on the phone holder, sweating buckets. He laid down on the couch and covered his eyes as he mumbled to himself.

"Idiot, idiot, idiot…"

Why did he DO that?! How stupid were you, Ronaldo?! Didn't you know how BAD that would be?! And why did you call her home phone like some sort of STALKER?! She didn't even answer at first! It was her brother!

He started hitting his head on the couch arm as Bebe walked in with two glasses of lemonade.

"How it go?"

He shot up from him position, his eyes almost crossed in fury.

"IT WENT TERRIBLE!" He shouted, falling back again. "She probably thinks I'm a creep now!"

"Hmm… did you tell her who you were?"

"-sniff- No…"

"Oh, yeah, you're a creep then…"

"Now isn't the time, Bebe! I have a real personal problem here!"

"Yeah, and that's the fact you need to relax, bro," she said as she dumped sugar into her glass. "It isn't as big of a deal as you think."

"What do you mean? She probably knows who it was!"

"Well, first off, you said she doesn't really pay attention to guys in her class besides that Clyde kid. Does she even know you?"

"I… don't know. Maybe? Hopefully not?"

""She probably was as confused as you, dude. You gotta chill, chico."

"I'M TRYING!"

"Alright, alright, don't yell! Huh…"

Ronaldo sat up to see his sister looking at her phone, her eyebrow raised.

"What?"

"It's Loki. He's wondering why someone called his sister from our home."

"Huh? Who would…"

Panic consumed his body as he leaped up.

"AHHHHHH! THAT WAS HER HOUSE?! LOKI IS HER BROTHER?!"

"Ok, ok, relax, relax! You're alright…"

"AHHHHHHHH!" HE screamed as he ran to his room and jumped on his bed. His face turned red as he turned over, wet spots forming from the corners of his eyes. STUPID, STUPID, STUPID!

He wasn't angry that Loki was her brother. He wasn't worried that he stuttered. He wasn't even worried about what she thought.

He was worried that she knew who he was… and if she knew, she would judge. Ronaldo HATED judging. That was for judges! Not kids!

"Ronnie? Are you alright?"

"Go away, chica! I need to think!"

"Look, Ron, you did nothing wrong. I'm texting Loki about it right now-"

"NO! DON'T TELL HIM ANYTHING!"

"Too late. He DID promise to keep it a secret, though."

If Ronaldo had any strength in him, he would have jumped up and personally smash his sisters phone. Instead, he rolled over and sighed.

His life was over. His SOCIAL life was over.

His chance with Linka was effectively OVER. And THAT'S what stung the most to him.


	4. Chapter 4

Ronaldo Santiago was NOT the type of man to run away from his problems… but this one? Yeah, this one was bad.

You ever seen those cheesy low grade horror movies where the main character is being chased by some serial killer? And then they get to the end of whatever hallway they were in, and they can only look on in sheer terror as they're about to have the life removed from them by an pickaxe or chainsaw? That's how he felt right about now.

It wasn't a normal hallway, however. It was his school corridor. And instead of a serial killer, it was a certain white haired girl skip walking towards him as he looked on in *lustful* terror.

"Hey, Ronaldo!"

Oh, God, this wasn't happening… she was actually right there, right in front of him! He had to play it cool; he smiled feebly.

"H-hey, Linka…"

If she had noticed the stutter in his voice, she didn't show it. She continued on as if she was unaware of his true wishes.

"Ok, so the CRAZIEST thing happened yesterday! I was at my house, and someone called and yadda yadda yadda…"

Oh, dear Neptune, she knew, she TOTALLY knew and was about to publicly reject him in the middle of the hall between lunch and fourth period, oh, dear Neptune…

"Isn't that weird? And I think it came from Bebe's house, too! Isn't she your sister?"

What to say, what to say… his mind was wrecking itself trying to answer! Uhh, think, Ronaldo, think! Say something, ANYTHING, the first thing that you think of!

"...Why do I care?"

EXCEPT that!

It was faint, but from what he saw, a brief flicker of hurt crossed her eyes.

"What?"

Ok, no big deal. Just correct yourself and move on…

"Why do I care? I don't even know you, Linka. Get lost, Lame-O."

No, no, NO! What are you doing, Ron?! This is your chance, your MOMENT, and you're calling her LAME?!

"Oh. O-ok, then…"

She turned around and began to leave. Ronaldo could only stare pathetically as the girl he dreamt of walked away from him…

"Wait! Linka!"

She turned. Now's your chance, Ron!

"Uhh… have a good day!"

Really?!

This time, she did walk away. Right down the hall and turned the corner. And there was nothing Ronaldo could have said or done to change his actions.

 _Congratulations, Ronaldo Andrew,_ he thought to himself. _You might as well go join the Morticians Club, you idiot! Your dreams are dead and buried!_

He sighed, and turned to his locker. It was never gonna happen… he was destined to fail from the beginning. Might as well move on while he still had a sense of decency. There were some decent looking girls in his grade, he guessed…

 **Meanwhile…**

Linka Loud wasn't hurt. No, she wasn't hurt in the slightest. If there was ANYTHING she'd learned in the house with ten boys, it's that you needed one thing and one thing only: DECEPTION. She had gotten so good at the whole "Oh, woe is me" shtick, she had even fooled Clyde with it. And Clyde, well, was Clyde! He could see through everything!

Not literally. Though that WOULD be pretty wicked. Like, Ace Savvy level wickedness. Pretty darn wick-

No, she was getting ahead of herself. Her plan was working perfectly. She had expected that type of response from such a tough guy like Ronaldo. He was practically an emotional wreck at this point!

It didn't take a genius to tell her it was definitely Ron that had confessed his feelings to her… even though she DID have one at her disposal. There was no other option. It had to have been Ron, and truth be told?

She didn't mind that.

Ever since she'd been dead certain it was him, she'd been constantly changing her focus to him. Truth be told, she barely even knew him; they only shared two classes every day. But she'd be constantly having to change her thoughts from his face… was that normal?

As much as she'd hate to admit it… she, kinda LIKED him. And (as her brothers learned long ago) if Linka Loud wanted something, SHE GOT IT. No questions asked.

Now? He was putty in her hands! He would practically jump off a CLIFF to get her to like him back! Perfect!

And now, the next part of the plan? Even better than the first! All she needed was someone that would listen to her… a trusted ally that could influence people… and she had JUST the person to do it.

She rubbed her hands together with an evil grin. Being a bad girl actually wasn't all that terrible...

 **Student Council Meeting…**

Clyde sat back in his chair, glaring at the president of the class discuss the future of the school. Really, Cassandra, you don't have to give a speech about how much money the cafeteria uses every 5 years. We'll be out of school by then, anyways…

Did that make him sound mean? Probably, yeah. He'd have to pay attention the rest of the meeting. The downsides of being moral...

Truth be told, he honestly had no clue why he even volunteered for student council. What was it that convinced him in the first place? Probably his mom's; they were always trying to get him to "expand his horizons" and everything, but honestly, it was BORING. Like watching a soap opera while wedged between his sobbing parents.

Ok, that was more uncomfortable than boring. You get the idea.

But this meeting, Clyde had a purpose. He had gotten a text from Linka… Linka… er, earlier in the day. It was vauge, but it got the point across. Apparently, a lot of the girls in class wanted to have a spring dance. A "Sadie Hawkins Dance," whatever that was. Normally, he would have laughed off an idea like that, but from Linka? Heck no! For HER, he'd be willing to climb the Eiffel Tower without a safety harness!

At last, Cassandra opened the floor for discussion. Time to get this show on the road!

"Alright, Clyde! You're up!"

He walked to the front of the class, confidence in his eyes. He was actually a half decent public speaker; ironic, considering he hated crowds.

"Alright, so here's the deal; apparently, a lot of girls in our grade want to have a spring dance."

A groan arose from the crowd. This was not a completely new discussion.

"This again? How much dough did they give you, Clyde?"

"Wait, I'm not finished!" He said, trying to keep the crowd engaged. "They want it to be a "Sadie Hawkins Dance," whatever that is."

A different type of noise came this time. Almost like… _interest._

"A Sadie Hawkins Dance? What's that?"

"Well…" he started, but stopped. "I… geez, I don't know. Anyone have a phone?"

A few seconds later, someone already had the Wikipedia article up.

"Alright, heres what it says. In the United States and Canada, the Sadie Hawkins Dance is a usually informal dance sponsored by a high school, middle school or college, in which female students invite male students. This is contrary to the custom of male students typically inviting female…"

Clyde didn't hear the last part. He was too focused on the part before that.

Girls invite boys? Instead of, you know, the usual way?

Absurdity! Why would any of the girls want THAT instead of a traditional dance? Girls asking guys was about as traditional as men having ponytails! It just didn't happen!

WHY would Linka even think of that?!

 _Unless..._

Slowly, an eager smile spread across his face. Oh, you thought you were smart, Linka, did you? I know what you're trying to do here… you want to ask a guy to a dance! But not just ANY guy! Maybe, a certain curly haired boy who wore glasses and has known you since you were six?

Linka and her plans… they never got old. Clyde usually saw right through them, and this one was no exception. She was trying to woo him off his feet! Because, well, she obviously liked him! And when a girl liked someone, she-

"Clyde! Are you gonna vote or what?"

He snapped out of his trance. Apparently, they'd already begun polling the council.

"Oh! Uhh, yeah, I vote yes. I like the idea!"

The dust settled out fairly quickly after that. The council voted in favor of the dance, twelve votes to one (Dumb old Alex always voted nay to 'spice things up' on the council.) The date was set for April 28th. Plenty of time, Clyde figured, to have Linka ask him.

Clyde walked home alone that day, since student council ran after class. He got home, ate his dinner, and went to sleep a victorious man. He'd liked Linka forever now, and this? This PROVED she liked him back!

If Heaven was real, then God had blessed Clyde McBride that day. Things were looking good… so, so, VERY good...


	5. Chapter 5

" _Now I'm falling in love as she's walking away,  
And my heart won't tell my mind to tell my mouth what it should say,  
May have lost this battle, live to fight another day,  
Now I'm falling in love,  
As she's walking away…"_

 _-Zach Brown Band, 'As She's Walking Away'_

Before Clyde and Linka would inevitably spend their weekends together doing homework and such, Linka would watch TV. What show? It depended on the day. Cartoons, sports, cheesy dramas… the Loud House had so many different tastes, nothing was a guarantee.

Today, the show was one of Linkas favorites: _The Dream Boat_. It was one of those horrible reality shows where a single guy would have a bunch of girls compete to win his love… but some how, some way, Linka enjoyed it. It was kinda funny to see those girls fight over a man like they did. Almost as if they didn't realize he was only in this for money and that he'd dump them almost immediately…

The door bell rang. Linka didn't have to get up, for one of her brothers had reached the door before her.

"Hey, Clyde!" She said as he walked over to the couch. He looked tired; as if he hadn't slept.

"Hey, Linka... What's up?"

"Nothing much. Just watching TV… you don't look to good, bud."

"Oh, this?" he said, gesturing to his face. "It's nothing… my cats kept me up all night. They've been pretty unpredictable lately…"

"I know the feeling…" she said, recalling how Cliff would keep her up all night meowing. "What homework do you have?"

As they pulled out their math books and began to do their equations, it began to happen again for Clyde. His hands became clammy, his head became warm… almost as if he was sick.

He was. Not physically, but in the loving sort of way.

See, today was no ordinary day for Clyde. No, today he was going to take a big step; he was going to tell Linka how he felt.

He had decided to do it that morning, after contemplating the matter all night long. He'd made up the cat excuse. The way Clyde saw it, if Linka was going to ask him to this Sadie Hawkins dance, then they might as well show up as a couple. And really, how hard could it be to tell a girl how you feel about her?

As it turned out, it was HARD. He tried to bring it up time and time again as they did their homework, but he would either chicken out or be interrupted. Before he knew what had happened, their math was done.

"Boy, that was hard!" Linka said as she put her book down on the coffee table. Wasn't it, Clyde?"

"...Huh? Oh, yeah. Really hard…"

"Uh, Clyde, you look sick again. Are you alright?"

He didn't answer. Instead, he began to feel lightheaded and dizzy, and as his eyes began to grow fuzzy…

"-gasp- Clyde! Your nose is bleeding!"

"Huh?!" He said as he snapped out of his illness. Sure enough, a bright crimson trail of blood was exiting his nose.

"Oh, geez! Uhh, I'll get tissues!"

He got up, and holding his nose up, he ran to the kitchen. He had to resort to using paper towels to stop the bleeding, but whatever worked…

"Geez, that's weird, Clyde. I've NEVER seen you have a nosebleed."

"Yeah, me either…" he lied. Truth be told, whenever he thought about asking Linka out, his nose would bleed. His mom's said it was from stress, but of course they didn't realize his feelings for his friend.

"Are you alright? Do you want to go upstairs?"

"Yeah, that's a good idea…" he mumbled, heading towards the stairs. Halfway up, his knees felt heavy and he almost fell, but Linka was there to stop him. Thank goodness for that… of course, his nose began to bleed again from her touch, but it was better than broken bones.

They walked over to Linkas room, where Clyde promptly laid out on his back. Linka hopped onto her bed and stared at her best friend, amused.

"Good thing my brothers didn't see that. They would've killed you trying to help."

"I doubt that…" He said, rubbing his head. "I'm not a girl, am I? Or their sister?"

"Well, no, but I'M their sister and YOU'RE my friend. I'd make them help you, and they wouldn't question it!"

Clyde sat up, putting his arms to the ground behind him.

"Thanks, Link. I feel a lot better now."

"Amytime!" she said, laying down. Her skirt was wrinkled out, and she rubbed her legs down to straighten the folds. THAT scene almost made poor Clyde faint, but he kept his composure.

"So how's school been? Anything new happen?" he asked her, trying to keep the conversation going.

"Oh, a lot is going on! So Cassandra thinks she's being this real tough girl by not inviting me to blah blah blah…"

As Linka rambled on about her problems, Clyde sat up and hopped on the bed, listening the whole time. He'd read in a dating magazine that girls loved a man who listened, so he had been paying EXTRA close attention to every word Linka uttered.

She moved over to give him space. Clyde always sat on her bed with her when he was over, and it was the same when she went to his house. There wasn't anything weird about it; her older brothers gave him dirty looks whenever that went upstairs, but for what reason, Clyde didn't know.

"And so then me and Lena told her to go away, and she did! Isn't that cool?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah! Really cool!"

"Shoot. He'd lost track of the conversation. So much for listening…

"So, Clyde, who do you want to ask you to the dance?"

His heart skipped a beat. Were they REALLY doing this whole process NOW?!

"Hmm…" He thought, trying to play cool. Guys couldn't freak out near a girl; that was a major no according to the internet.

"Well… I don't know really. I guess I'll have to be surprised."

"Oh, come on! There has to be SOMEONE you want to ask you! Isn't there?"

Hmm… she wasn't giving up easily, was she? He had tried to dodge the question, but she was onto him. He had to drop a hint… but what?

"Well… there WAS this one girl I was hoping would ask me. But I don't know…"

Linka squealed with delight, obviously unaware the girl was her.

"Oooooh, I need to know! Who is it? Is it Penelope? No, wait! It's Rochelle, isn't it?! No, it's-"

"Well, I don't think she will, though. I feel like, you know, she doesn't really… NOTICE me, you know?"

Ok, now you were being too obvious, Clyde. Linka couldn't be THAT oblivious, could she?

"Ooooh… you have a crush, then?"

Huh. She was. Her face was blank; she had no clue about Clyde's feelings.

"Well, yeah, I guess I do…"

This was it. The moment Clyde had been waiting for since 2011, THIS was the biggest moment of his life. Linka had asked him another question, but he didn't care, it was go time.

"Clyde? Did you hear me? Who?"

"I… Uhhh… I'd rather not say. It's kind of personal, you know?"

He was nervous. VERY face began to turn red as he fiddled his fingers together.

Linka smiled sweetly, which didn't help him much. She got on her knees and leaned over to Clyde, trying to coax a secret out.

"Come on! Tell me who your crush is!"

"U-Uhmm…"

Geez, this was harder than he thought it was gonna be… he couldn't get it out. He needed a diversion.

"Hey… why don't you tell me YOUR plan for the dance?"

Perfect! Now it was HER turn to be nervous about telling him her feelings… genius! The tables were turned now!

"Huh…" she said, sort of startled by the change. "Well… there WAS this one idea I had for the dance, but I don't know…"

There it was;the confidence booster. Those words were all he needed to hear to get him back on track.

"What is it? Are you gonna ask someone?"

"Well, I was planning on it, yeah, but I don't know if he'd say yes… I don't even think he cares about me that much, to be honest."

Ha! She was completely oblivious! This was gonna be a cakewalk... although it DID somewhat hurt to hear her say she thought he didn't care…

"Well, you can tell ME. I won't tell anyone, I promise."

"Hmmm… well, I guess getting it off my chest is good. So yeah, I've been into this guy for a little while…"

This was it! The moment of truth… his heart couldn't take it anymore!

"I don't even think he knows I like him… he likes me, I think, but does he know I feel the same way?"

He held his breath… any minute now she would say his name and their dreams would come true…

"So yeah…"

He froze. His heart was about to burst.

"I guess I like Ronaldo..."

His heart burst, all right.

But not in the way he expected.


	6. Chapter 6

Clyde McBride trudged towards his locker a defeated, broken man. Nothing in the world was going to make him feel better right now… even a trip to Dairy Land would have been futile. Ever since that weekend, he had been almost catatonic.

Ronaldo! That guy was always messing with him, stealing his pencils, you name it! And Linka, LINKA, had a CRUSH on him?! How?!

It almost made him want to… to… punch something! Anything! Well, except maybe his parents, but anything else was fair game! Watch out, people, Clyde McBride is NOT in the mood for games today!

He closed his locker, LOUDLY. So loud, in fact, it startled the person waiting to talk to Clyde behind it.

"Ah! Linka?"

"Hey, Clyde!" She said, breathing heavily. Geez, he must've REALLY scared her…

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine… I was gonna ask that to YOU, though. What's wrong? You left my house yesterday and didn't answer your walkie talkie!"

Oh, that. Yeah, Clyde hadn't exactly taken the news well… would YOU have? Learning the girl you dreamed about for months liked the dipwad who tried stealing your lunch money on a weekly basis...

"Yeah, I'm fine…" He lied. "I just wasn't feeling good yesterday. I'm good now."

"Well, good!" she said cheerily, putting her hand on his shoulder. "I need your help!"

"Huh?" He asked as she dragged him away from his locker, books in his arms. "What do you need my help with?"

"You'll see! You just have to be patient…"

Oh, well… Linka was always like this. While they WERE best friends, she was a lady of many mysteries.

At last, they reached the edge of the hallway. Linka pulled Clyde towards the water fountain, ducking both their heads down for maximum privacy.

"Alright, heres what you need to do… inspire me."

Clyde looked at his friend as if he had just been told Santa wasn't real.

"What?"

"Inspire me! You know, pump me up! I need motivation!"

"Why do you need that?"

"-sigh- Look, Clyde, are you gonna motivate me or do I need to go to Coach Packowskis office to watch another training montage?"

Oh, that was off the table… those sports montages were horrible enough to warrant inside jokes between those two. Clyde had no choice.

"Alright, alright…" he said almost monotoniously. "Linka, I don't know what I'm motivating you for, buy I just want to tell you that you can do it. You can do anything you set your mind to, champ! Don't let yourself be your enemy!"

"Yeah, yeah!"

"Are you gonna go out there and win?! Or am I gonna be watching a loser?!"

"I'm gonna do it!"

"THEN GO DO IT!"

"Hey!" Mr Johnson said, leaning out his door. "You be quiet, McBride!"

"Oh! Sorry, sir!"

The door closed, and Linka was more than inspired.

"You did it, Clyde! I feel like I can take on the world!"

"Then do it! Whatever it is, Linka, you can do it!"

Clyde had to admit, even though he was still upset, he felt better. That speech had pumped HIM up more than it did Linka.

At last, she stood up. She was ready, he thought, to take on the world. Slowly, she stepped towards the lockers on the other side of the hall, just as the first bell rang. Kids flew to their lockers as if they had wings.

"Huh… wonder what she's doing? Probably going to take a math test or something…"

But she wasn't. She had stopped in the middle of the hall, as a certain kid walked to his locker…

 **Ronaldo…**

What a day! Not even first period and Ronaldo already had to take a test! And to top it off, homework right afterwards… ridiculous!

To be honest, Ronaldo HATED school. Yeah, almost every kid his age did, but him? He DESPISED it! LOATHED it! Why, if he had the chance, he'd light this place on fire and burn it all down! Blame that McBride kid while he was at it… heh!

Oh, well… that would have to wait another day. Right now, he had to get to reading class. His dreams of killing education would have to-

"Hey, Ron!"

"AHHHHH!"

GEEZ! Who in their right minds came up to people like that?! Nearly gave him a heart attack in the process! He turned around, ready to give whoever it was a piece of-

Linka!

All of a sudden, his adrenaline rush had been replaced with his feeling of lovey dovey. His legs were weak.

"Oh, uh, hey Linka. What's up?"

"Oh, nothing…" she said, twirling her hair through her fingers. "I was just walking by myself and needed someone to talk to."

"Oh!" he said, looking around. Clyde wasn't anywhere he could see… odd. Those two were ALWAYS joined at the hip…

"Well, I mean, you could talk to me, I guess…" he said, trying to play it cool. "I ain't doing anything."

"Well, that's good… Hey, I have a question."

A question?

"Uhh, sure. What do you need?"

All of a sudden, Linka seemed a lot more nervous. Weird… she seemed fine just a minute ago…

"Well, see… there's this, uhh, Sadie Hawkins dance coming up, and, uhh, I was wondering… do you maybe, like, want to go with me?"

WHAT?!

Holy… YES! Yes, he wanted to go with her! This was INCREDIBLE! Linka asked him to a dance! LINKA ASKED HIM TO A DANCE! YES, YES, YES!

"Uhhh…" He groaned, trying to stay as calm as possible. In reality, his legs were melting faster than that witch from The Wizard of Oz.

"Well?"

"Uhhh… sure! Yeah, I think I'm free that day. I'll see you there."

"Sweet! Thanks, Ron!" she said as she began walking away. She turned around halfway down the hall, and with a single wink to him, she turned.

Ronaldo Santiago was currently on Cloud Seventeen and a Half. One minute he was thinking of committing arson, the next he was getting his pompadus on! Oh, did he mention LINKA ASKED HIM TO A DANCE?!

This was the best day of his life!

He began to walk the opposite way, humming Daisy Bell as he did. This was turning out to be an alright day after all!

He turned the corner, where he saw an unexpected face standing at the water fountain.

"Oh, hey McBride. What's up?"

Clyde didn't respond. He stood like a statue, his mouth hanging open like a flytrap. He couldn't tell from farther away, but to Ronaldo, it looked like… tears?

"Uhh… see you around, I guess…"

He walked past him, still humming. A few steps down the hall, though, he turned around again. Clyde had fainted on the floor, and was now laying under the fountain.

"Huh… a janitor will get him, I guess…"

He walked away a happy man, leaving his opposite behind him in a puddle of pity.


	7. Chapter 7

**Another chapter for you all. Now, if you're familiar with my work, I try to fit in characters from my other stories into current ones. Almost like Stan Lee cameos in Marvel movies, you know? I usually don't tell you guys who they are, but you guys honestly rock, so I'll give it to you. Read my story "Unorthodox." it's a little rough to understand, but the cameo will make sense. Enjoy!**

"Clyde, honey? Are you SURE you don't want me to take you to the school?"

"I'm sure, mom! Just… just leave me alone!"

"Oh, honey, come on!" Clydes mother said from outside his door. "It's your first ever school dance! What's wrong?"

"I don't want to go!"

"Well why not?"

Oh, if it was that easy to explain… the day Clyde had once dreamed of, now dreaded, had arrived. The Sadie Hawkins Dance… don't get him wrong, it was sure to be a blast, but he just wasn't in the partying mood at the moment…

Oh, who was he kidding? He was jealous! Of stupid Ronaldo and stupid Linka and stupid, STUPID him! What was he thinking? Linka would never truly love him like he did for her… they were only eleven and all, but she gave him that feeling! And now this… it was like something out of an Orson Welles novel. A horrible dystopian future of sadness…

Of course Clyde wanted to go to the dance, but he couldn't! No one had bothered to ask him… even Penelope asked their classmate Colin instead of him. What was wrong? It wasn't that he was ugly, was it? No, it was because he was a pansy, that's what. Stupid pansy Clyde McBride, not even good enough to save his best friend from the clutches of Ronaldo… Ronaldo… RONALDO!

He stopped and took deep breaths. He had been gritting his teeth together whenever he thought of that smug, stupid face… truth be told, he liked the soccer player more. And no, it wasn't any his fault that Linka chose him; it could've been any guy in their grade with half a brain cell! But just the thought that he would be spending that time with his best friend…

"Well, if you aren't going to the dance, honey, why don't you come out of your room? I'll take you to Flips if you want!"

Flips? His ears perked up at that… nothing that a Flipee can't solve, he figured. In fact, it might get rid of the headache he had… due in NO part to the sobbing fits he was having on and off the entire day…

"Coming…" he said, getting up off of his bed. He slipped on a pair of sandals and walked out of the room, looking miserable.

"Honey, why are you so upset? Is it about Linka?"

"No…" he lied, walking past her. "I just don't feel good."

"Well, nothing a trip to Flips won't solve!" she said, getting her keys off the door handle. "Let's go!"

 **Flips Food and Fuel…**

Chips… chips… pretzels… candy… chips…

Was Clyde going to eat any of this? Most likely not. But have it on standby in case the tear ducts opened? Definitely. Of course, scooping every bag off the shelf wasn't going to be look upon as good… overboard is never good, you know.

Oh, shoot, Flip was watching him… to be honest, Clyde had no idea why she was called Flip, but it had a ring to it. She could be nice, could being a key word. Mostly, she'd do anything to make a quick buck. And she was staring daggers at the boy right now. Gulping, he put items back on the shelf, and she walked away.

"Lot of food you got there."

He turned his head slightly to the left. A tall kid was standing next to him, browsing the candy aisle. He was black, cleanly cut, and wore a black leather jacket.

"Yeah, it is…"

"You gonna eat all that?"

"How should I know?"

"Beats me," the kid said, shrugging. "You know, kid, impulse shopping isn't healthy. Especially for kids."

"-sigh- What does it matter to you?" Clyde asked as he turned away. "I'm just getting food, nothing special."

"Eh, good point. You just looked a bit down. I thought I could help."

"Well, you're right on one part. But you can't help."

He began to walk away before he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see the boy with a genuine look of concern on his face.

"Kid, I know what's wrong. You're having girl problems."

"What?" he asked, shocked. "How did you…"

"I know everything, bud… well, not really, but most everything. The names Eddie Williams. Nice to meet you…"

"Uhh, Clyde. Clyde McBride."

The two shook hands, and walking towards the soda fountain, struck up a conversation.

"So, Clyde, what's got you down? Your girl leave you?"

"Well, kind of… except she didn't know she was my girl."

"Ahhh, unrequited love, huh?" he asked, stopping. "Always a tough nut to crack. Got any details?"

"Well…"

 _5 MINUTES LATER…_

"Geez, buddy… that's rough."

"Yeah…" he sighed, putting his food down near the Flipee dispenser. "And now Linka is gonna be dancing with that guy…"

Eddie stood deep in thought as Clyde put his head down.

"Well… do you actually think that you love her?"

"-sniff- Yeah, man… I do think so."

"Well, what makes you think you love her?"

He stopped, turning to Eddie. Was… was he being questioned?

"Well…" he started, looking off into space. "She's nice, really smart, has a GREAT sense of humor… she makes me happy to live in this town. Makes me happy to be alive."

"Wow… that's pretty deep for a fifth grader."

"Well, it's how I feel! I think that what I feel is love, but…"

Eddie held out his hand, as if to silence him.

"Kid, I know how you feel. I was in your shoes once upon a time."

"You were?"

"Oh, yeah!" he said, beginning to reminisce. "She was one of the nicest people I knew. Athletic, funny, all the qualities you'd ever want in a woman. There was only ONE problem."

"Which was…"

"She had a boyfriend… now, I see you flinching at that. Well, don't. This guy was a jerk to her. Like, we're talking domestic violence here. And she didn't know what to do."

Clyde listened with open ears. Whatever the purpose behind this story, it sure was entertaining.

"So I helped her. Told her she was special, convinced her to end the thing… there was a bar fight mixed in somewhere, I remember. But do you know why I did all that?"

"Why?"

"Glad you asked. Because she was athletic, funny, and had all the qualities you'd ever want in a woman. I loved not only her looks, but her personality."

"Uhh… I don't want to interrupt, but what happened between you two?"

"Oh, that…"

He held out his hand, making Clydes eyes grow wide. On his finger was a silver ring.

"She's going off to college this fall, so we decided to get hitched. It's been a week already."

"Wow…" he gasped, wide eyed. "Congratulations!"

"Thanks, little man," Eddie said, patting him on the back. "Now, I think you look inspired enough to go get this girl, am I right?"

"Hell- HECK YEAH!"

"That's the spirit!" he cried, going up to the register. "I just have another question for you."

"Yeah? What is it?"

He put his items on the counter and kneeled down beside Clyde, making sure they were eye level.

"How many miles would you walk for Linka?"

The question was obscure, but Clyde knew the reference. He smiled and answered with assertion.

"I'd walk a thousand miles to be the guy that could say he did…"

Eddie paused… then smiled.

"You're ready, kid. Let's go!"

"Wait, what?!" Clyde said as Eddie grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out of the store. "Where are we going?!"

"To the dance, where else?" he said, swinging open the door of a black truck. "You got a girl to profess your love to!"

"Uhh, ok… MOM! I'M GOING TO THE DANCE!"

From across the parking lot, the answer came crystal clear.

"OK! DO YOU NEED A RIDE?!"

"I'M GOOD!" He cried before the door closed. Three other people were in the car, looking as confused as Clyde.

"COLIN, SANDY, LYNN, THAT'S CLYDE!" Eddie yelled as he started the car. "CLYDE, THAT'S MY WIFE LYNN, AND THOSE ARE COLIN AND SANDY!"

"Dude, why are you yelling?!" Colin said, covering his ears. "We can hear you good enough!"

"I'M HYPED UP, DUDE! PLAY 500 MILES!"

"-sigh- Sorry about this, Clyde, right? Eddie gets excited easily…"

"No problem!" Clyde said as The Proclaimers hit single blared through the Bluetooth speakers. The truck pulled out, and still blaring music, began traveling down the road to the elementary school.

Clydes mom sat back in her seat, sipping a Flipee.

"I knew he wanted to go to that dance… GO GET EM, SWEETIE!"


End file.
